The Siege of St. Paul

Sheets of ice rose into the sky
So many clouds of frozen tears
And all the rivers,
Done froze up.

He blew into his hands
And checked the temp.
So many clothes to wear, and so many
Hearts that needed jump starting.

The war had been on for months...
Or was it years,
Or was it centuries?

Few resources got in and
Nothing
Got out.

The siege had been on so long
It was a joke, something to drink about
And forget.

St. Paul a dream, a puff of frost
Kissing snow, your tires squealing
As you failed to top that icy hill.

She had no lipstick so she bit into
Her tongue until the blood pooled
And she licked her lips crimson.

The siege gripping every throat
Like Old Man Winter,
Refusing to let go of something
He could no longer remember.

Ode to Beavis & Butthead

Music videos are no longer played on MTV
And your episodes have been
Chopped up by your creator
Into well-packaged DVDs and you
Dudes never even new what a DVD was.
You never knew how much you meant
To all the inappropriate children out there
Who loved you for what you'd do
That we could not do
Because we'd been born unlucky enough
To not be cartoons eating nachos
But we all tried and yearned to score
We fucking yearned to score
And there is no shame in that far greater
Is the shame of the milk toast the mild
Who never try to score who never say
Anything
Inappropriate who go through life pretending
To be smarter than they are, more well
Bred than they are never touching the core
of what they could have been.

Yes, I said "touching the core".
Heh heh, heh heh.

What Happiness Costs

Sitting on my couch,
Eating good cashews.
Owing nothing
To anyone.
Wanting nothing more
Than to be
Where I am
At that moment.

Happiness costs less
And much, much more
Than you think it does.

Dear Sleep

We haven't been friendly lately,
Between the nightmares and coffee
I haven't visited you as much
As I should have. Tonight
I'm up late again and tomorrow
I'll miss you even more as I sink
Further and further into the surreal life
Phantoms swimming up
To pull me into the deep end of the pool
And you think I've lost you
You think I'm a stranger in a strange land
And while this is all true
I'll finally catch you like a young dude
Riding his bike as fast as he can
Through the empty streets of a small town
That doesn't give a fuck.

Drunken Rave #3

Many ways you can get drunk,
But pre-planned rings the most hollow
And desperate and tonight I feel a little
Desperate a little drunk a little
Tired.

New love makes you tired.
Most poets don't tell you that,
They want to believe new love makes
You sleepless aching and hot in the
Long, long night.

But it really isn't like that.

New love is like coming home after
Being out in the cold for a long, long time
And slipping into your favorite night wear
By a roaring fire that's been built for you
In advance and someone handing you the drink
You've been thirsting for
And putting your feet up as your drooping eyes
Close you feel an afghan being dropped
Over you covering you in so much
Fucking warmth.

New love is like sleep
A long time coming.

Poem for Meat Loaf

Chubby goofball rocker
Jean-jacketed vanguard of an army of dispossessed
Lonesome losers fingers itching
To rock and roll and rock some more
Together we'll kick down all
Old rotted doors rescue all the girls
We do not deserve (on paper),
We, unabashed romantics,
We, the drunkard pot smoking
Video game loving freaks
So many grand gestures
Falling from us like dying leaves
In a world hellbent on being realistic
And dull dull dull.

Together we will make a last stand
And consume the world in gulps
The only way anything can truly
Be loved.

Sometimes I Need to Settle Down

Why why why
Coffee coffee coffee!

Rolling like a freight train
Flying like an aeroplane

Nimble fingers periodical
Tiny silver necklace against
Pale flesh

Leaves falling so loudly
Outside my windows
Newly opened spaces

Now I can see a tower
In the distance
And at the top of this tower
Is a spastic monkey
And that monkey
Is my brother.

Bored At Work

How long will humanity need to be bored at work?
How long must this go on?
Is it worth food and shelter?
I guess. But you always have to
Leave
That food and shelter and return to
Work
And sit patiently while your life slips
Through the world like
Sand.

The best thing you can hope for
A good night on TV and maybe
A trip to the bar where you will
Bitch about work and eat buffalo wings.

No,
This isn'tjust about getting a new job.
This isn't even about spoiled 1st world countries.
This is about creating an entire world
Where robots do the dull stuff
And everyone else gets to save the Galaxy.

Real social planning;
Is that so much to ask,
You fancy fancy scientists?

A Smacking Poem

Sometimes
I just feel like
Smacking you.

If it makes you feel better,
You can smack me
Too.

Are You Happy?

Here I am, lying on the floor
Staring at your fine, fine heels
As you walk out that door
Slamming it in that sexy way
You developed over a plethora
Of tooth and nail and now I am
Talking to random people in bars
Asking questions I don't want to have
Answered because the only real answer
Is YOU WILL DIE we will ALL DIE
And when we are gone this all
Moves on.

All My Spills

Last night I spilled wine in a bookstore,
But this was by far not my first transgression.

I have spilled in Brittish manor houses.
I have spilled on the decks of cruise ships.
I have spilled at high school, college, and fancy
Graduate school dinners.
A legion of parties, museums, a dozen places where spilling
Was otherwise unthinkable. One Chistmas Eve
Stands out
In particular.
I was only sixteen and the loud drunken adults had left
A bottle of red wine out on the white clothed table.
I tried some, liked it,
And drank some more.

You can probably see where this is
Going.
You can probably tell that if you were here
Right now, sitting quietly with me,
I'd spill anything you asked.

Suddenly

Cold rain tore through my chest like shrapnel
And my coat fell ragged around my feet. When
I tried to run for it I tripped and smashed my face
Into the asphalt and through my one good eye I saw
Lightning hovering over me like a guardian angel
And when I asked if I could please get up it poured into me,
Crawled up inside me like a rat into its warm nest.

Later, the storm passed, I stood up, scorched but
Whole. I walked home and took a long, hot shower,
My fingers trembling as I soaped up,
My eyes still filled with so much light.

A Toast to Destruction

The blue planet was getting cocky
So they came and leveled everything
They could get their goddamn hands on
Cows flew everywhere along with
Tax accountants and the whole swirling mass
Really took flight and that was how I knew
To open that bottle of wine I'd been saving
For a special occasion, for a day
That everyone would remember.

Relative Poetry Goes on Hiatus

We'd like to thank our wonderful readers, but sleep has fallen upon us.

Zzzzzzzzzzz..................

Why Must You Try and Hug Me?

Oh no.
You're here again.
Don't you have anything better
To do with your time than
Visit Me at My Place of Workship?

What's that? No, Crazy Stranger,
I don't want a hug. You smell
Like gasoline coated with
Gasoline.

I think I'll hide here in the backroom
Where it's quiet and dark and maybe
You will mistake me for a mop on
Steriods and confused, you will go away
Happily cackling as you hug the UPS man.

How Much I Loved You

You entered the room
Smiling,
Shy.

We both laughed, because we
Felt like laughing.

I wanted to hug you right then,
Lift you off the ground and
Press your softness into me.

I could not believe
That you made me believe
In something I did not believe in.

Kissing You

Your tongue and my tongue wrestle
Smackdown! style and you grip my shoulders
Like I want to get away but I don't,
I'd like to stay and get to know you.
I'm a bit rusty here, but girls still wear bras
Right? With those damn hooks and whatnot
Did you eat something with garlic? Man,
Kissing is just so romantic just so freaking
Great who needs sex when you can wrap
Yourself in anothers slobbery tongue?

Dear Jackie, from "That 70's Show"

Oh my god oh my god oh my god
I'm, like, your biggest fan. Really!
You wouldn't believe how many times
I've checked out what outfit you were wearing
When I should have been following a perfectly
Good plot. You sexy sexy thing, I want to brush
Your silky black hair and slow dance with you
To George Jones. If you let me grab your
Butt, I'll be in Heaven, all the pain I've ever felt
Receding to nothing. Please Jackie Burkheart,
Be my Valentine and I will keep you well hydrated.

Poem For My Ex-Girlfriends

Ladies,
You've grown up so fast.

One of you is married, with child
And husband, now carefully nestled near
The place you grew up. You don't
E-mail me, but your mother does,
And I'm glad for you. I really am.

Another of you is getting married
This summer. You represent
The hopefulness I felt in college,
And at your wedding I will try
Not to get too drunk and embarrass
You in front of your friends, most
Of whom I dislike immensely.

And the third of you is dating
Again. That's cool. I can dig it.
Just don't let me meet the guy
For as long as possible. I tend to
Say things, and do things, but you
Know all of this already, we held
Hands for a good long time.

Ladies,
Did you know Valentine's Day is coming up?
I think I'll watch Apocalypse Now
And laugh at all the napalm.

Fresh Air

Impossible

This light and airy creature

Giggling in my arms

As if she has been here all along

Just when I thought

I would never breathe so freely

Again.